Upheave
by Wickedfetch
Summary: Flying to their first job after the BDM explores how things are aboard Serenity.  Then there's the job.  And then more flying.  Cannon pairings, mostly Mal/Inara.  Complete, but more to come, this begins a larger arc I've been working on.
1. Intro

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Firefly, or the Firefly IP/universe/characters. While the words are mine they are based in an IP I do not own. I do not make money from this, it's all in good fun.

Author's note: If any of you have read my work before this should feel familiar. I had previously written this in a script format, but due to the reviews I have redone it in a more readable format. I hope it's true to the characters.

* * *

><p>Mal, sitting in the new pilot's chair, leaned over the cortex, poring through it. He sighed, and rubbed his eyes, not satisfied with what he found. Looking over his shoulder he gave a small nod to Zoe as she approached, her face a mirror of his own grim one. She nodded back and sat gingerly in the co pilot's chair taking care not to jar her spine as she sat. Without looking at him she spoke, "Anything?" Mal snuck a glance at her before he too spoke to the black drifting past, "not a gorram thing." Slowly their gazes turned toward the dinosaurs all over the instruments.<p>

They had been out in the black for just a few days. With repairs completed Serenity felt like a new version of herself. Many of the wiring flaws that had always given his boat a certain amount of character had been fixed. Mal still hadn't decided whether that was a good thing or not. Course that wasn't the only thing affecting the general atmosphere of the ship, and though they already had a job lined up, good food on the table, and Simon and Kaylee grinning like the kids in love they were, the ship felt heavy and oppressive. He had a pretty good notion of what Zoe was thinking on in her chair, and he snuck another glance at her.

Her face was frozen, as frozen as he'd ever seen. Or perhaps more frozen. It had been a long while since she'd been the stone cold woman he was seeing now. Sure to others maybe she always had been, but they didn't know her the way he did, and for a while there she had been glowy, cheerful, carefree even. Mal repressed a sigh, and turned back to the cortex, his companion on the bridge just as silent as the black they sailed though.


	2. Chapter One

If you have any nightmares _mei mei_-"

"I'll come and get you." River interrupted Simon's fussing. He was packing his clothes into bags in preparation for moving into Kaylee's bunk. River smiled at her brother's fussing, a clear sign he was nervous. Simon continued his fussing, "Or if you throw up, or-" he paused, running a hand through his hair and looking quite flustered. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea, I mean I'll be so far away from you, and the infirmary, what if-"

"Vomit is a side effect" River stated matter of factly.

"What?" Simon paused in mid-fuss. "Oh, yes, I know, I'm sorry about that." He paused and looked up at River, concern evident in his eyes. Then he went back to packing again until his sister interrupted him again.

"So you can stop worrying about that."

At first her comment didn't register, but then as his brain caught up to his ears he carefully accosted her, "River, are you saying you're not taking your medication anymore?"

"She's gone, they're gone, no more nightmares."

"Are you sure that's wise? I mean we don't know what they did to you even now."

"Doesn't matter. "

Simon almost threw up his hands in frustration. River had always excelled at annoying him when she set out to do so, but now he wasn't quite sure how to handle her. She was still crazy, and slightly unpredictable, but she had seemed more sane, more lucid, more Rivery since they had discovered the secrets surrounding Miranda. He had accepted she was psychic, but a part of him would always want to fix her.

She smiled sadly at him "Can't." Chagrined, he pulled her into a hug. Then he smiled mischievously "then again why would I want my bratty little sister back?" River seemed delighted by his reply, and stuck her tongue out at him. Before Simon could whack her across the face with his pillow, as befitted proper sibling behaviour, Jayne stuck his head in the room.

Seeing packing in progress he smiled the special smile he reserved only for needling Simon and said, "You two finally jumpin' ship? Not that I'd blame ya, must feel pretty bad gettin' Wash killed 'n all."

"Simon is leaving." River brightly exclaimed.

"That's the best news 've heard since we hit atmo." He said as he leaned against the door looking pleased with himself.

Before Simon could correct the situation River continued her declaration "He's tired of worrying I'm going to walk in on him and Kaylee." Now Jayne grinned genuinely, clearly pleased with Simon's horror. "_Mei mei_, that, that," he spluttered in complaint.

"So he's just movin' to 'er bunk huh? And here I got all 'xcited at the idea we'd no longer be harbourin' fugees." River seemed eager to continue their banter, but at that moment Inara arrived, with a bag over her shoulder and Jayne turned his attention to her.

"Now 'Nara leavin' that's a tot'lly diff'rent story"

"_Wo de tian A." _Simon sighed, as he mockingly turned his gaze heavenward-well toward the ceiling of the room, every direction was heavenward when you were flying through space. Yet another thing he had yet to get used to.

Inara smiled graciously, "I heard from Kaylee you would be moving your things and thought I could lend a hand." She glanced around the room. "It seems you have things well in hand though."

Simon nodded, "Yes, although an extra bag would be helpful. I'm surprised at how much is in here." Jayne seemed bored with all the polite talk and interjected "Capn' know yer movin' quarters?"

"Well, no, but-" Simon started to answer when Jayne chuckled, "Can't wait 'til he finds out. Capn' hates people changin' stuff on his ship wi'out his permission." Inara turned to Jayne, and trying to calm the now nervous Simon, said "I'm sure he won't mind." Jayne merely grinned smugly as though he knew better and said, "Oh sure, an' his bunk bein' right next to Kaylee's an' all." At that Simon blushed, and Jayne strolled away enjoying a successful torment of Simon. Simon rolled his eyes and turned to Inara, "Just when you think he couldn't possibly be any cruder..." She laughed as the two of them continued with the dismantling and packing of his room as River flitted about smiling and enjoying the fuss.

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><p>Zoe often found herself sitting alone. Alone in her bunk. Alone on the bridge during her watch. Alone in the galley. Before Wash she'd been alone, and now, after, after Wash she was alone. Of course now was different. Now she was missing someone. Not that he was the first person to die on her. During the war she'd lost several friends, and after a few had ended up like Tracey, and a few had eaten their own gun. But she'd never missed a person like she missed him. Her husband. Hers, gorrammit.<p>

She hadn't been lying when she said she wasn't so afraid of losing something she wasn't going to try and have it. Zoe knew loss. Whole family had died on the ship she'd grown up on while she was fighting the oh so mighty Alliance. So she knew grief. She and grief were better friends than she and happiness. And she still wasn't so afraid of losing something she wasn't going to try to have it. But this, this was new.

This made her feel utterly and completely alone. For this she needed Wash like she'd never needed no one before. She wasn't sure she could-

"New voice" River interrupted her thoughts as she sat in the co pilot's chair to begin her watch. Zoe turned to look at the girl turned pilot. River looked back with a small smile. Zoe wanted to smile back, but for some reason couldn't force herself to do so. Her frozen face, Mal would call it. But there was no point in forcing it, River would know it was fake. So she just nodded and turned back to the black.

"It's quiet." River said as they sailed together into the endless night.

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><p>Simon was studying the cortex. While he was on a tramp freighter and moonlighting as a criminal mastermind, it didn't hurt to stay up on the latest research. Especially neurological research. For example, he'd just learned-<p>

"Now, I know ya think I haven' noticed."

_Ai ya!_ Now he was in for it, if the Captain decided to take umbrage at his moving into Kaylee's bunk, things could get rather uncomfortable for him aboard Serenity. He turned, guiltily and opened his mouth to say something, anything, to defuse the situation before one of them started hurling insults, or punches for that matter. But before he could say something, Mal put his hand up, and said in a nonchalantly threatening voice, "The bulkheads are pretty thin, so if you make her cry I'll know."

Simon couldn't repress an involuntary shiver. Mal could be scary when he wanted to be. And Simon knew how protective he was of Kaylee. But before he could start to worry, Mal's face broke into a smug smile "A 'course I'll know a lot of stuff ya don't want me to know, sharin' a wall an' all."

"_Wuh De Ma._ Did you come down here for anything Captain? Or just to insinuate?"

Mal shrugged, enjoying Simon's unease, "Could use a dressing change." The man loved to needle him, but he was a doctor and as a doctor he would take care of his patient. Lost in his work he didn't notice Inara walk by.

Mal of course did. He couldn't help but notice her. And what she was carrying, bags. Heavy bags. Simon, not noticing Mal noticing Inara, bit back a grin, he had come up with an excellent way of tormenting the Captain, something he always enjoyed doing.

"You need to take things slower or these stitches are going to keep popping Captain. It's been almost a month, if you keep pushing you're going to end up with a seeping wound that'll get infected." Mal looked at him with annoyance; Simon smirked and continued, "I'd recommend staying in your bunk as much as possible." At this Mal looked horrified, clearly put off by the idea of hearing too much through those bulkheads. Simon was satisfied, he'd gotten Mal's goat and no one had been punched. Not a bad day's work.

Mal however, seemed unimpressed, and still focused on Inara said, "What's she doin'?"

"Who?"

"Inara."

"Oh, uh, she's moving-" But Mal didn't give him a chance to finish, jumping off the table and heading toward her. "Captain! That's not what I meant by taking it easy!" Simon called after him, then turned back to his research on the cortex. The captain would be back once he realized the dressing change wasn't quite done yet.

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><p>Inara sighed as she heard heavy boot steps tromping her way. There was a slight break in the gait meaning it was most likely Mal and not Jayne. Pretending she didn't know he was there, she surveyed the room. She had spent most of yesterday and today clearing out one of the unused passenger rooms, and now she was finally ready to begin making it her home. The room was clean and tidy, and already she'd hung up a few pieces of fabric along one of the walls. It would make a cozy little chamber when she was done with it. Not as ornate as her shuttle, but then she wouldn't be doing much entertaining.<p>

She turned around when she heard Mal clear his throat. When he didn't speak she sighed, "Mal?"

"Whatcha doin' down here? Didn' Kaylee fix up yer shuttle?"

He seemed unsure of himself, and truth be told so was she, so she responded evasively with "Any reason you're asking?" He shifted on his feet, uneasy with her question.

"Well, how are ya figurin' on conductin' yer business without usin' the shuttle?" He said it abruptly and abrasively, and despite years of training she couldn't help but snap back at him. "That's why you're asking? You're worried about rent? Or is it that you're worried I'll soil your precious ship by whoring right here?"

"Just curious is all. The shuttle's got more uh, comforts, got, uh, more room for...uh, all yer stuff." It was as close to an apology for bursting in on her she was likely to get.

"As you can plainly see Mal I don't have much stuff."

"Huh," he looked around the room, "Right, just that one trunk of stuff." He leaned gingerly against the door frame. Leave it to the man to complicate even the simple act of setting a room up for daily living. She sighed again, "Is there a reason you came down here?"

"What's got you so tetchy?"

"I'm tetchy? You came down here looking for a fight!"

"No-"

"You're always looking for a fight Mal. With everyone, anything."

"No, not, no. I thought..." He trailed off, and she glared at him expectantly.

"Where'd all the stuff go that were in here afore?"

"I put it all in Simon's old room."

"An' who exactly gave ya leave to do that?"

"Honestly, Mal,"

"It's my ship. I'm the Captain. Ya can't jus' go 'round changin' her how ya please."

"Fine. Would you like me to move it back? Or would you prefer I use Book's old room."

At that he glared at her, and she knew she'd gone too far. But for once Mal was inclined to make peace instead of fight, and though his eyes were dark he backed down.

"Jus' wanted to make sure you was all settled."

"By yelling at me?"

"Well, that weren't exactly plan A." He replied with a smile.

"Just what happened." She said sadly.

Now looking contrite Mal replied, "Right, so I'll leave ya to it. Unless, you, uh need any help movin' yer stuff."

Inara couldn't help but smile at him. The man definitely didn't want her to flee the ship again; she didn't think she'd ever heard him be quite so solicitous. "You're not going to ask why again?" She asked.

Mal shook his head, "seems ya don' wanna tell me, so I figure why ask again?" He winced and she noticed his shirt near his one side had been bloodied. "You should have Simon look at that." She said.

He glanced at the wound, then waved it off saying "Sure, sure" then smiling at her asked, "so yer not in need of help?"

"You're hardly in a fit state to help." She pointed out.

"Could get Jayne to haul yer stuff for ya, delegate, that's what Captains do ya know." He said, if he'd winked he would have been the picture of the rogue the girls at the training house pictured whenever her time on Serenity was gossiped over. She laughed, "And have him paw through everything, all the while complaining of the funny smell?"

Mal joined her laughter, only to wince and grab at his side. "Might be you're right on that." She turned her gaze pointedly to his side. "Might be you're right on that too. Reckon I'll pay Simon a visit then, leave ya to it."

As he left the room she found herself sighing once again, but this time in relief instead of frustration. She knew at some point they'd actually have to talk, but she wasn't quite ready, and though he seemed to want more from her than she was willing to give at this point, at least he wasn't pressing too hard for more. She wasn't sure how much longer her non answers were going to be good answers for Mal, but hopefully it would be long enough to get her affairs settled and decide what she wanted to do.

After Miranda things had changed. If she were honest with herself things had changed long before Miranda, before the training house, and if she were brutally honest, even before Serenity. But she wasn't quite sure what those changes meant, at least not yet.

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><p>CHINESE TRANSLATIONS<p>

I do not speak Chinese at all, these translations are from: .com/wiki/Dictionary

_Mei-mei_ little sister

_Dohn-ma_ understand

_Wo de tian a_ dear god in Heaven

_Wuh De Ma _Mother of God


	3. Chapter Two

Mal glanced at his lil' albatross. She was wearing those ridiculous goggles again, even though there weren't any bugs in space to be protecting her eyes from, and she was wearing a mish mash of casted off clothing. But the most interesting thing of all was how intently she seemed focused on flying the ship. Mal wanted to lean back in his chair and smile, she clearly didn't any help from him at all at landing his ship.

Suddenly Serenity jerked forcefully to the right and then rapidly up and down. Mal was nearly thrown to the ground and he heard a crash in the walkway behind him. Before he could turn to see what it was Jayne yelled up at the cockpit.

"Gorrammit watch what yer doin' up there crazy!" Mal couldn't help but agree. River looked mighty pleased with herself over there, and Mal got a sinking feeling on why she had been focusing so intently. He could here Jayne muttering to himself as he walked away, something along the lines of "_Hur Bao Duhn Ai Chr Jze Se Duh Fohn Diang Gho_"

River smiled sweetly at Mal and said "_Ma Jong Hwa_."

"Yes he is. That why we were tossed about like coins in a purse, to make Jayne curse? Hell, I'm sure if ya asked him to he'd be more than happy to curse at ya all day long were that the case. Don't much appreciate ya manhandlin' the landin' to make a point albatross. Side's I need him intact for the job, possessin' all his limbs an' such?"

River nodded, still with a twinkle in her eye that made it hard for him to be truly mad at her, but at least she knew how to handle Serenity. That was a comfort. Then suddenly her face changed from one of merriment to one of sadness. He could hear footsteps in the walkway, and before she spoke he knew it was Zoe. She had a touch of panic to her voice, and he knew why. This scene recalled a bit too forcefully the disastrous landing that no one was speaking on.

"We crashin' sir?"

He smiled back at her and replied, "Just lil' albatross keepin' Jayne on his toes." Her eyes weren't really looking at him, they were focused on the dinosaurs, so he wasn't quite sure she'd heard him until she nodded, said a terse sir, and headed back down the walkway. Mal repressed a sigh, there was a time she'd have joined in the merriment and told River one or two of the ways she'd kept Jayne on his toes when he'd first come aboard.

"Soon." River said dreamily from beside him. He sincerely hoped she meant Zoe would be more cheerful, but seeing as how they were in the process of breaking atmo, he couldn't be sure she didn't mean landing.

"Shiny. 'm glad to know ya ain't lost yer aptitude." River grinned at him, then turned back to the controls. Her grin was short lived though as he continued "Just keep it steady on the way down next time _dohn-ma_? No more _wei shan_ pranks."

River sighed, and nearly pouted, but he continued with his fatherly lecture as he got out of his seat and headed out of the cockpit himself, "Can't have ya pullin' pranks with my ship, been through 'nough as is."

He threaded his way through the ship, which felt oddly empty, until he reached the cargo bay. As he saw his crew gathered 'round he felt tension he didn't know he was carrying ebb away from his shoulders. Kaylee was working on the mule, she was constantly tuning any machinery she could get her hands on. Jayne and Zoe were both doing a final check on guns, ammo and armor while Simon and Inara leaned on opposite sides of the entryway to the common area. Now that the ship was nearly down, it was time to get to business.

"Stop fussin' with 'er Kaylee" He said good naturedly, but she still pouted up at him. The girl loved to work on engines, and always hated to be interrupted. "She got banged up awful bad Cap'n, makin' sure she'll ride smooth for ya." She paused in her grousing, "An I gotta take a look at my girl, see what made her jump about like that. " Mal wanted to chuckle, he had stopped her worrying on one problem, only to have her worry on another. At least he could put her mind to ease on that one.

"T'weren't nuthin', just River knockin' Jayne about." Everyone excepting Jayne and Zoe looked amused, the latter still had a mostly frozen look to her. He turned to her

"Zoe, yer with the ship."

"Sir?" It was amazing how many things she could make that one word mean. For instance right now, it meant she was annoyed with him. Well fine, but he wasn't about to let her put herself in peril, herself and the little one he was pretty sure she was carrying. Course wouldn't do to tip her, or anyone else for that matter, off, so he followed up with, "Gonna take the resident crazy, see if we can't discover 'nother way to keep Jayne on his toes."

Of course, this meant that he now had Simon and Jayne annoyed with him as well, but before the doc could start fussing River bounded down the stairs with such exuberance that Simon didn't have the heart to tell her she couldn't go along. Mal smiled, "Guess ya know yer part in this then?" he asked her.

Of course being River she cryptically replied, "Do you?" as she clambered up into the driver's seat of the mule.

Mal couldn't help himself, he rolled his eyes as he lectured once again, "Now, none of that nonsense today. Just do the job." Course she wasn't listening, too preoccupied with sticking her tongue out at Jayne.

He and Jayne slung themselves aboard, Jayne taking care to stow some grenades at the back with the extra ammo for his three, very visible, guns. As they headed out into the dust Zoe closed the bay doors, her face still frozen.

* * *

><p>As the bay doors closed Kaylee sidled up to Simon and whispered in his ear. He quickly went from being annoyed with Mal to a grinning school boy. Before Inara could speak to either of them, they headed off, probably to Kaylee's bunk, or rather their bunk.<p>

Inara turned to see Zoe, she stiffened when she saw the couple head deeper into the ship hand in hand. Her face didn't give away much, but her body language was clearly readable to one trained as well as Inara was. Zoe was hurting. Inara smiled at her and asked, "Would you like some tea?"

She knew Zoe probably wasn't one for drinking tea, but the other woman smiled as she answered "Sure."

The two of them hadn't spent much time together, and most of that time they had been accompanied by either Mal or Wash. Zoe and Wash hadn't been married that long, and they spent most of their down time together, leaving little room for girl talk over a cup of tea. But Zoe was alone now, and she desperately needed someone to talk to. As Inara put the kettle on and hunted around for the actual tea Zoe sat stiffly down at the table.

"I hope Jasmine tea is fine, that's all I've got left." Zoe nodded, "Don't think I ever drank 'nuff tea to form a fondness fer one kind over another." Inara smiled as she sat kitty corner from Zoe, "The tea ceremony was one of the first things we learned at the Academy." She smiled as she remembered her early days at the Academy. "I'd had plenty growing up, but since I hadn't ever served it myself I had never been given the choice of which kind to drink. Once we had mastered the tea ceremony we were then free to decide which tea to serve. Most companions would stick with known favourites, but I find it much more interesting to try and pick the tea to suit the drinker. I myself prefer jasmine, but I think you would be more partial to a Chai." Zoe didn't say anything, and as she poured the tea Inara continued.

"Chai has a rich, deep flavour that can't be appreciated up on a first sip. The longer one holds the cup and enjoys the aromas the more one appreciates how much more complicated it is than at first appearance." Inara smiled kindly, "Of course Chai alone isn't complete." Zoe looked up at her, her eyes shining. "No, it requires milk to round out its flavours and really bring it to perfection."

Zoe didn't say anything, just stared down at her cup. Inara sighed contentedly and took a sip from her own, hoping Zoe would feel comfortable enough to say something, anything about her late husband.

"It's true ya know. " Inara didn't say anything, knowing silent understanding would draw Zoe out better than any words.

"He did. You didn' know me before it was me an' Wash, but when it was jus' me I wasn't, I wasn't." She paused, beginning to cry in earnest. Inara leaned over and put a hand on her shoulder. Zoe didn't say anything for a while, just sobbed for a bit while Inara rubbed her back gently. When the sobs finally began to die down, Zoe spoke again, haltingly.

"Don' know what I'm gonna do without him. Especially-" Suddenly she stopped, and the spell of the tea was broken, Zoe went silent. Inara waited a moment, perhaps Zoe would start speaking again, but when she didn't Inara decided to acknowledge her loss.

"We all miss him, I suspect we always will. He had a way of breaking the tension, helping us all to see the funny side of whatever situation we were all in." Zoe nodded, smiling softly and Inara continued. "And I know I'll always be grateful to his kindness, and his bravery."

Inara rose, and began cleaning up the tea service. "I'd love to take tea with you again Zoe. Perhaps after we've had a chance to resupply. I'm afraid that the was the last of it; I've completely run out of any kind of tea."

"Yes." Zoe turned to leave, then paused, "thank you. For the tea, and,"

Inara interrupted kindly, "You are most welcome. Any time." As she watched Zoe leave Inara smiled genuinely, it would be good to have a friend to talk to. For both of them.

* * *

><p>"We supposed to be meetin' someone?" Jayne asked, his voice full of annoyance. It was a fair question, the warehouse looked completely deserted. Jayne had a way of voicing Mal's thoughts before he had a chance to. Course, that also meant he voiced things Mal would have preferred to keep the others from noticing about situations. Not that that would work with River anyhow though.<p>

"Godot." Although, based on what she'd just said, maybe it would have. At that thought River smiled at Mal while Jayne growled at her, annoyed, which was his usual emotion around the little pilot.

"What?" Jayne groused.

"Waited for him, but he never came." River said absent mindedly.

"Kuh ai harebrain." Jayne said meanly.

Before the pair of them could descend into insults and outright fighting Mal held his hand up, glared at them, and cautiously approached the warehouse. Jayne quickly unholstered his pistol, his eyes darting about the dusty, seemingly deserted area, while River stared dazedly off into space. Mal sincerely hoped that meant nothing was like to go awry.

Suddenly a sound registered to his right, as he and Jayne quickly turned, Jayne raising his weapon, a large, well rotund really, man appeared from behind some crates. He was well dressed, and had that smug look on his face that men like Badger always wore when dealing with space trash like Mal and his crew. It irritated Mal far more than he liked, but he was here to do business.

"You three are a might jumpy." The man looked over the three of them, pausing on River, who now seemed to be contemplating her hair.

"You bring your kid along for the ride, Reynolds?" He asked incredulously.

"Just here to pick up the goods."

The man leered at River, who shrunk back a little from his gaze. Mal felt himself bristle, and of course Jayne moved closer to River, once again as if acting out Mal's impulses.

"And half the money." Mal tried to sound nonchalant, but this whole thing smelled a little ripe to him. Deserted warehouse, unnaturally quiet town, only one man to meet them, it was all adding up to an ambush, he just had that feeling.

The man tossed a bag of money, an easy catch, then slipped his hands into his pockets."Of course, heard tell Captain of Serenity had an amazon, _yao nu_, not be messed with. Didn't expect a little girl. Guess, I heard wrong." He said, studying the three of them.

Jayne chuckled, as Mal counted the coin. Trying to keep things strictly business he asked about the goods. "So where's the goods we're supposed to be deliverin'? Or are ya givin' us a bag of coins fer just stoppin' by?"

"Down to business ain't cha?" The man replied, then gestured into the darkened warehouse, "They're through there."

Definitely planning an ambush then. Which River quickly confirmed with a non sequiter, "He is." The girl was a right gift horse.

Their contact seemed confused, "Beg your pardon?" And before Mal could attempt to smooth things over and avoid any gunplay River began babbling in an oddly calm tone of voice at first.

"Killed a man. Killed three, four. They all say things, don't want to listen. _Bi jweh! Bi jweh! Wuo dwei nee boo ting boo jen!"_ By the time she got to Chinese she was sobbing and nearly hysterical. The contact looked decidedly unnerved and started to reach for his gun.

"Ya don' wanna do that." Jayne said calmly, whilst pointing his own at the man's head. The man glared at Mal, all pretence at affability now gone. "Captain, you want the goods or not? I know Sierra won't be pleased if they aren't delivered on time as promised." He threatened angrily.

Seeing how he was unnerved by a quietly sobbing River and intimidated by the indifferent Jayne, Mal glared right back at the man and replied, "Seems to me I'll get them whether or not ya bring 'em to me." He smiled a friendlylike, the man once again looked at River and Jayne, then finally ending his internal debate, whistled. Three men appeared from the warehouse, each carrying a crate, which they loaded onto the Mule, Jayne covering them with his gun the whole time. No one spoke, until Mal smiling affably at the contact said "Pleasure doin' business with ya."

As the four men drifted back to the warehouse, the three of them climbed up on the Mule and headed back to the ship. Mal felt like grinning, they'd successfully avoided an ambush. Just as he turned to River to congratulate her on a successful creeping out of those trying to kill them, shots rang out.

Instantly Jayne drew, a large weapon this time, and Mal had his pistol up as well. They both turned to face back the way they came, assuming it was from the warehouse, but there was nothing and no one there. Suddenly River swerved wildly, missing a large knot of people outside the local fed station, and with a sinking feeling Mal knew exactly where the gunfire had come from. No wonder the report of the rifle had sounded familiar, Alliance issue that.

"Go back to your homes!" A voice rang out from a loudspeaker. The crowd roiled and yelled back in retaliation, a few stones were thrown at the feds.

"Disperse now. Return to your homes." The crowd only roared louder, and suddenly they were surging forward. A few more shots were fired, and Mal saw a body or two drop in the crowd, but the feds were outnumbered and the crowd soon enveloped them. Slowly the fight moved to one side, revealing bodies that were much too small, and a woman lying in a puddle of blood.

Mal clenched his jaw in rage, but then River moaned piteously. She had a glazed look to her eyes and her skin looked paler by the minute as she mumbled softer than he could hear. She continued to drive back to Serenity, which meant he and Jayne could cover if everything went sideways, and upon arrival collapsed at the controls.

"Jayne." Mal looked pointedly at River, whom he quickly picked up as Mal closed the bay doors. Jayne headed for the infirmary while Mal hustled to the cockpit, anxious to lift off the rock before a full lock down was set by the feds. As he hurried along he bellowed Simon's name. Simon appeared looking flustered, and half dressed just as he reached the galley.

"You best get to the infirmary." Mal forced out. Simon opened his mouth to ask why, but quickly shut it upon seeing Mal's glowering rage and headed to the infirmary. Mal quickly started up Serenity, relieved to see no landlock in place and began taking her out. As the ship rose into the air he began to relax, although the rage didn't dissipate nearly as quickly as the wary tension. Zoe entered the bridge, concern evident on her face.

"Sir?" She queried.

"Crowd stormin' the fed station, couple of shots fired. Some bodies in the street." He murmured his answer more to the dinosaurs than to her. "Got the goods, an' the coin." Why'd it get so gorram complicated?

"Any particular reason why yer flyin' the ship?"

"She ain't shot, just sort of collapsed." He sighed and realized he was tired, and as he heard Zoe sit heavily in the copilot's seat he suspected she was too.

"_Ai yah tien ah_" she murmured, then they both fell into silence and stared at the dinosaurs framed by the black.

* * *

><p>Author's note: I don't know anything about tea, if I got it all wrong please correct me so I can fix it.<p>

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><p>CHINESE TRANSLATIONS<p>

I do not speak Chinese at all, these translations are from: .com/wiki/Dictionary

_Hur Bao Duhn Ai Chr Jze Se Duh Fohn Diang Gho_ Flat chested crazy dog in love with its own feces

_Ma Jong Hwa _Cursing (literally "chastise with dirty words")

_wei shan _Really dangerous

_Kuh ai _Cute

_yao nu _Demon woman

_Bi jweh! _Shut up!

_Wuo dwei nee boo ting boo jen! _I neither see nor hear you

_Ai yah tien ah_ merciless hell


	4. Chapter Three

Simon was standing at the head of the table, answering Inara's concerned questions. The rest of them were arrayed around the table, it all felt rather familiar, like the first time Simon had appeared before them with a report on his little sister.

"My best guess is she was overwhelmed by the crowd's emotion, she'd never been around something like that, and they were all thinking about Miranda." Simon sounded uneasy, as he always did when asked to give a prognosis when he wasn't one hundred percent sure of his diagnosis.

Jayne glared at Simon as he spoke, "She could've crashed an killed us." Simon gave as good as he got with his sharp retort, "She held on until you were back safe."

Jayne mumbled something under his breath, likely flamboyant cursing, but at least the volatile, at best, nature of their relationship hadn't escalated to full blown shouting and nasty accusations as it had so many times before.

Kaylee looked at Simon anxiously, "She alright?" The boy smiled kindly at her and moved closer to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I think she'll be okay, her vitals are good and her brain activity seems normal." Kaylee twisted her neck to look at him, concern still evident on her features, "So she's gonna wake up?" Simon looked at a loss, so Mal stepped in to reassure her.

"Course _mei mei_, been through worse ain't she?" Simon looked unconvinced, but he leaned down and gave Kaylee a quick peck on the cheek before leaving to check on his sister.

"So the crowd was rioting? Do we know why?" Since Simon had answered all questions medical, Inara's questioning now turned to him. Zoe, being the excellent first mate she was attempted a deflection, sensing his volatile and potentially nasty disposition at the moment. "Reckon we won't 'til she wakes up." Mal nodded, still angry with the Alliance and what he had seen, he wanted this interrogation over with as soon as possible.

"An' they just shot inta the crowd? Even though there was kids?" Kaylee's voice was full of disbelief and sadness. Before he could help himself Mal snorted, "Course they did_,_ 'lliance don't much care who their bullets hit, so's long as they hit." Zoe looked as though she agreed, and surprisingly so did Jayne, but Kaylee and Inara both had looks of shock on their faces.

"Wash n' Book wouldn't've wanted people dyin' on our account." Kaylee's voice shook as she spoke and there were tears glistening in her eyes. Mal wasn't sure what to say to that, but once again Zoe intervened. "Can't control people Kaylee." Her voice was a little too detached for Mal's liking.

Inara moved closer and gave Kaylee a hug, and even Jayne tried to comfort the little mechanic. "Hell, just made a spark, them folks was already upset 'bout sumthin' or other." But Kaylee, being the sweet girl she was, wasn't so easily comforted. So Mal thought he'd give it a go, "Wasn't us, 'lliance did this."

Of course, the anger he still felt came out in his voice, and instantly Inara called him on it. "How can you say that? Simon said River knew it was related to Miranda."

Instantly he argued back, "So? It's our fault for lettin' people know the truth? We didn' put Pax on that planet. 'lliance did that their ownselves."

"If we hadn't told people, that crowd wouldn't have rioted." Said Inara forcefully.

They were arguing, as nearly every conversation with Inara ever went, and he'd completely forgotten there were others in the galley with them. Just as he was about to inform Inara of just how naive she was even after shipping with Serenity for as long as she had Zoe's voice cut in brittlely.

"We did what we had to do, can't be responsible for what people do with it." The table went silent, and Mal thought he might as well put an end to the ill fated discussion. "Gonna go check on our pilot, make sure she's alright. Zoe check our course, make sure there ain't nuthin' nearby as could harm us."

Zoe rose from her seat and headed to the bridge, and as he left the galley he noticed that Kaylee still looked quite upset over what had happened, and Inara looked rattled; just as she had when they first discovered the Pax. Jayne of course was rummaging about for food, but he seemed to be making a bit more noise than was strictly necessary.

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><p>She could hear voices, faintly.<p>

"She gonna be alright?" Was that Mal? Malcolm Reynolds, Captain, Serenity.

"I don't know. I didn't sedate her, it's as if she was so overwhelmed she just shut down. But that's just a theory. I could be wrong." Simon. Only Simon would be so worried. She was fine, just fine thank you very much. Fine, okay, all right, good, shiny.

Mal started to apologize, "I'll leave her on the ship from now on."

"No. Chose to go. Like to go. Want to see the sky, helps me to remember what I am." She said, her voice coming out in more of a croak than anything.

"River! How are you feeling _mei mei_?" It was a measure of how anxious he had been about her condition that he didn't frown at her affected speech.

River frowned as she spoke, "Just wanted the secret to go away, didn't mean to get anyone killed. _Jao gao" _Simon immediately patted her shoulder, and Mal looked at her sadly as he replied, "Weren't you albatross, if yer gonna blame someone, blame the Alliance."

"No. Told you where it was. Showed you. Could have left it there. My fault. Showed the 'verse, people died. Didn't need to. Could have stayed secret." It was true, only Simon had heard her say Miranda, and if she hadn't gone to the bridge Mal would never have known the planet even existed and taken them on the crazy quest that got Wash killed.

"These things, they just, they just happen." Said Simon, attempting to comfort her. And then Mal, trying to do the same said, "Ya can't control the verse, least of all the people in it. Mayhap that signal meant nuthin', could just be an excuse for people to act violent."

They were valiant attempts, but she knew the truth. She knew Simon was relieved, happy even about how things had turned out. True he felt guilty about Wash and Book, but he was also happy to see glimpses of the little sister her remembered from before. Mal had done exactly what needed to be done, and though he'd had a burst of purpose and meaning once he'd found the secret the sharing of it had cost almost too much. She turned to Simon first, "Glad to have me back. Not as broken. Worth it to you." Simon drew back as if she'd hit him, shame evident on his features. Turning to Mal she continued, "Excuses. Not for you. Not that one."

Mal contemplated her words for a moment then replied with a small smile in his eyes, "No, not that one. Don't make it less true for others."

She thought on that for a moment. He was right in his way. She couldn't be responsible for the choices others made. True she didn't have to reveal what she knew, but it was done, and there was little use wishing she could have foreseen all the consequences and thus chosen a different path than the one taken.

As Mal was leaving the infirmary she called after him in an insistent tone. "Captain. No excuses, I want to go next time." Simon looked concerned, but kept his own counsel. Mal just smiled at her, teasing her gently, the only one not the least bit afraid of her. "Didn't I jus' tell you, ya can't control people?"

She decided to tease him back. She cocked her head to one side and peered at him intently as if she were trying to control him with her mind. "Well, ya, ya can't! Not even with that fancy brain o' yours. " He spluttered. She giggled and Simon joined her with a laugh of his own. It was good to laugh together. Mal didn't, but his smile widened.

"Gorram geniuses." He groused as he left the infirmary, meeting up with Zoe as he headed into the cargo bay. River watched them go, then said softly."Hurt her."

Simon was busy checking her over as he answered, "I know, but you got them all back to the ship safely, I'm so proud of you."

River shook her head and corrected him, "Not me. Zoe. Hurt her. My fault. Can feel her, crying, sad. Misses him. Lost without him. Banged up, not even flying true. Make sure Simon. Make sure she takes them." Simon looked confused. "Takes what?" He asked.

It wasn't her secret to share, hopefully Simon would do some sleuthing of his own to decipher or meaning, or better yet Zoe would come to him. "Make sure." She reiterated.

"River?" He was concerned, she was slipping back into nonsensicalness.

"Need to rest now. Not broken. Tired." She started to get out of the bed. Immediately Simon was admonishing her to stay put. She quickly put a stop to that though by giving him her 'little sister thinks you're a boob look.'

Backing down he said, "Alright, but I'll sleep in the room next to you in case-" She interrupted, he did worry far too much, "Simon. Not broken."

"Okay, I'll sleep in the common area then." He was being stubborn, so she used a more forceful tone of voice, "Simon."

He threw his hands in the air in resignation as he said, "Do you think I'll ever get the last word in an argument?"

Smugly she answered his question, "The odds are about one in 16,789,341. Maybe when we're both white and wrinkled." They both laughed, though as she headed to her room she felt a weight of guilt settle over both of them. As she laid down she let her mind wander over the ship.

Mal was alone in his bunk, watching the capture he took of Wash and Zoe's wedding. Inara was trying to meditate, but as the incense curled around her she couldn't quite suppress a shiver. Kaylee was swinging in her hammock, listening to the different sounds as the rebuilt engine turned. Jayne was lifting weights. Not an uncommon occurrence, but he was thinking on the Shepherd as he did it. Zoe was lying alone, off to one side of the bed she'd shared with Wash clinging to one of his Hawaiin shirts.

They were all hurting, not quite together, but they shared. Their hurts were different, but they all had them. And River joined them with her own. She felt guilty over her friends' deaths. Over the innocents who had just happened to get in the way. If she hadn't asked for Simon's help he'd still be there, and Serenity would be a different, more happy place. The thoughts threatened to overwhelm her, and for a moment she thought of asking Simon for a smoother, but then she remembered other things.

The way Simon and Kaylee smiled at each other. The hope growing inside Zoe. The way Mal had remembered what it was to have a purpose and a reason for being. How Jayne was remembering another way of being. And finally, how Inara was contemplating making a change. Those were good things. As she thought on that she slowly drifted into sleep.

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><p>Author's Note: This fic is complete, but there's more to come. Hope you enjoyed the reading as much as I enjoyed the writing.<p>

I'm curious on what you all think about the ending, I wrote a more fleshed out ending with each character getting a paragraph instead of a sentence, but felt the sentence version was stronger. If there's interest I can post that version as an addendum. Also, If anyone is interested I can add the script format as an addendum to this story.

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><p>CHINESE TRANSLATIONS<p>

I do not speak Chinese at all, these translations are from: .com/wiki/Dictionary

_Jao gao_ Alas, not good, what a mess, too bad (literally "spoiled cake")


End file.
